2020 0216 Miriam Liggett - Bridal Couture

Podcast Transcript

Introduction

• 00:04

Welcome to Happily Altered After. Unique perspectives on the road to wedded bliss and heartwarming, hysterical, maddening and jaw dropping stories filled with wedding planning tips, tricks, do's, and don'ts. And now here's your host, Maya Holihan.

Maya Holihan

• 00:24

Good afternoon, and welcome to the Happily Altered Aftor Podcast. I think it is safe to say that when a woman gets engaged, the very first thing she starts thinking about is her wedding gown. And it's probably the very first thing that she does. And I would say as somebody who owned a shop for many years, it's, I think, the thing that they hold nearest and dearest to their heart, really, I think could be the biggest element of the entire wedding. And today we're going to expand on the thought. We're going to talk all about wedding gowns. Our guests today is actually a dear friend and bridal salon owner. Her name is Miriam Liggett and she is the owner and President of Soliloquy Bridal Couture. In Northern Virginia. You're in Herndon correct.

Miriam Liggett

• 01:13

That's correct. Historic downtown Herndon, Virginia.

Maya Holihan

• 01:17

And you service brides all in Northern Virginia and the Washington, DC area and anyone who wants to just fly in and come see your shop, correct?

Miriam Liggett

• 01:25

That's absolutely right. We get a lot of brides from neighboring states as well. And actually I just sold to a bride from Nevada yesterday. So you never know where your brides are going to come from.

Maya Holihan

• 01:36

That's exactly right. I think also, too, don't you find that we get a lot of brides from other parts of the country because if their parents live right where your store is located, I often found that the dad and the mom or maybe the aunt or grandmother really wanted to be part of the shopping experience. Do you find that as well?

Miriam Liggett

• 01:54

Absolutely. I think it really does matter where their families are located. If they can arrange it, they really want those support people there to be a part of that experience. So a lot of times we will get people who have moved, relocated to other locations, but they'll come home to purchase their wedding gown.

Maya Holihan

• 02:11

Yeah, I love it when that can happen.

Miriam Liggett

• 02:13

Yeah, it's great.

Maya Holihan

• 02:15

With technology, anything is possible. So do you have brides that will bring in their loved ones either via Zoom or Skype or just using their smartphone? Does that happen frequently?

Miriam Liggett

• 02:29

It does happen quite a bit. And, you know, I love that part because I think there are some moms, particularly who cannot be a part of the experience in person, and so they're very excited to be included. So I make sure that I recognize the mom just like I would if she was sitting with us, showing her various elements of the dress and using technology has really allowed us to help brides make faster decisions.

Maya Holihan

• 02:57

Yeah, I bet. Right? So they can do you let them take photos? I know for some shops I feel like it's 50/50. I did let people take photos, is that something you allow or not?

Miriam Liggett

• 03:08

You know, I really don't, because I don't want people so focused on taking a picture, because I think it's really about how you feel. And when we get caught up in taking a lot of pictures, you go back, you say, well, I'll look at this later, and you don't always look the best in a cell phone photo. Your hair is not done, the lighting is not correct. And so you look at it and you judge a dress based on how you look at that cell phone photo. And that's really not the way to determine if this is the right dress for you. I always tell my brides, we've been doing this for nine years.

Miriam Liggett

• 03:43

Every bride walks away purchasing the dress that makes them feel the way they want to feel, either the most beautiful or the most romantic, or, you know, fun or excited. So I really believe in that, and I stick by that.

Maya Holihan

• 03:57

I love that. I think that's such a great point. And I also think it minimizes because this is something that I found, and I was like, oh, maybe we shouldn't allow pictures. Right? Because what I found was that they would then show those pictures to everybody under the sun, excluding their fiancé, usually all of these different opinions, which would only confuse them.

Miriam Liggett

• 04:19

It really does. Maya. I do believe that, and I've certainly tried it both ways. I've certainly had periods where I'm like, okay, well, let me allow pictures, because other boutiques allow pictures. But I just found it to be a distraction. That's really not necessary. Prior to all this technology, people had to make decisions without going back to look at a photo. And I still think this is one sacred area we can maintain. Try to really let your spirit do the talking.

Maya Holihan

• 04:48

Yeah. There's a reason why every store has different rules, has a different way of approaching the experience for the bride and her guests, and how the appointment flows. Now, I know that you are primarily by appointment, so can you explain why it's important for a bride to make an appointment and why you operate that way?

Miriam Liggett

• 05:11

Yeah, absolutely. And I respect that every store is different, and I will preface that by saying that when I was starting out in the business, I saw the advice of a woman who had been in business a long time, and I said, you know, what is it that I need to know? And she said, you know, Miriam, everything you need to know, your customers will teach you. And I thought that was the best advice, because every store has to respond uniquely to their customers. I think appointments are necessary because it allows us to really focus on that bride and her entourage at that time. If we allowed other people to walk around and look at dresses, inevitably they're going to have questions, they're going to interrupt you. And I feel like this is a big ticket purchase.

Miriam Liggett

• 05:54

It's an important purchase, and you really need someone's undivided attention to help you sort through kind of the questions, the obstacles, the things that you're kind of feeling, and sometimes you are not able to express. So I think appointments are critical when you're spending the kind of money that you spend on a bridal gown.

Maya Holihan

• 06:12

Sure. I think that it's really also important for focus, and I think this is sort of you and I can chat about this advice that women can think about as they're considering going shopping. Trying on wedding gowns is emotionally exhausting. It is exhausting. It can take to levels of emotion that you didn't think that you would experience, good or bad. So I always found, like, an appointment was just one of those things that really helped keep the focus and the intimacy. What do you think?

Miriam Liggett

• 06:47

Yeah, I always check with my brides throughout the appointment. Are you doing okay? Would you like some water? Because I don't think people realize how overwhelming that process is. I mean, how many times have you ever put on a dress and stepped on a pedestal and turned around to a group of people to say, how do you think I look? You know, it is really it's a really overwhelming situation. So I really think that, you know, giving it that time, giving it the importance, the significance is really important. And I think that shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" have only made that even more significant for brides because they see it now as something that they do need to do with a group of people.

Miriam Liggett

• 07:33

So we have to make sure that we're providing an environment where it can be productive for all involved.

Maya Holihan

• 07:40

That's right. So you touch upon entourages and groups, and as many of the listeners know, Happily Altered After is also a book that is in the production phase, so it will publish in the next few months, which elaborate deeply on the conversation that you are having right now. But I dedicate an entire chapter to the people you should bring with you when you try on your wedding gown and what that should look like and how you should feel as a bride when you're walking through the doors of the bridal shop with the people that are flanking you. So what is your advice to brides who are getting ready to shop on who they should include and how many people they should include?

Miriam Liggett

• 08:24

Yeah, I can't wait to see what your book says. So I'm looking forward to that chapter. But I think you would talk to any bridal shop owner, and we would have pretty much the same feeling. Like, sometimes we love the entourage, and sometimes the entourage is the group that really prevents the bride from having her own voice. So I think every bride is individual, and some people really just cannot make that decision without having their best friends intel. I really recommend that we limit that to a mother, maybe your sister or two, and maybe one best friend, because when you have too many people, you know, you're going to run the risk of people having opinions that may not be aligned with yours. And you don't even know what your opinions are after that point because there are too many people talking, you know.

Miriam Liggett

• 09:15

So I really try to set the tone with my brides and their entourage. I'm very directive. Here's what is going to happen and here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'd like you to do. And I do it in a very nice way, but I have to be directive so that I protect the bride's ability to stand up for what she likes if I know she loves.

Maya Holihan

• 09:39

Say that again.

Miriam Liggett

• 09:42

I hope I say it the same way, but I protect the bride's ability to have her own voice because it is so difficult to speak up. When they pick a dress in the dressing room with me, they say, oh, my God, I love this dress. And they walk out and the first thing they hear is, oh, no, I mean, that's it. She's deflated. And there's really not a lot I can do to lift her up at that point other than to try to stand up for what she's saying. So when I walk out the room, if I know she likes something, I'll say she likes this one. Kind of give a thumbs up so that they act accordingly because in the end, this is her gown.

Maya Holihan

• 10:21

Miriam Liggett

• 10:44

Well, one, I think that wedding gowns are not constructed away, just dresses that you would buy at the mall. I mean, there are things that you might have to tighten or clip or kind of conform so she can see what it's going to look like on her body. I certainly don't have a problem if someone is modest and they want their mother in there with them or a friend. I really don't have that. But I think it's really important for the consultant to establish the relationship with her bride first and foremost, so she has someone she knows that's looking out for her in terms of the fit and the design of the dress and who's responding to what she has said she wants in a wedding gown.

Maya Holihan

• 11:23

Yeah. I think I shared at one point in the conversation that the dressing room was a combination of a confessional and being in a counselor's office. Because as the people leading the appointment, there's a lot of psychology that goes behind it when sometimes you're playing counselors. Sometimes you're playing referee. Sometimes you're playing best friend. Sometimes you're playing the mom who's not there. For whatever reason. To support the bride through this process. So it's a really important place to get to know that bride and to be there for her.

Miriam Liggett

• 12:04

Yeah, I think that was one of the biggest eye openers for me when I made this venture into this business, is that I didn't realize I was going to have to play all of those roles. I mean, sometimes you're a therapist, like you said, and a lot of times you might be playing against some of the people that they brought with them. They'll say to you in the dressing room, my mother's not going to like this, and I don't care, but I need you to tell her I like it. Here you are placed in this position of trying to balance being the support to the bribe. But certainly you don't want to offend anyone.  People don't realized how difficult a position we are in sometimes.

Maya Holihan

• 13:04

Miriam Liggett

• 13:32

Oh I agree. And I know just just like you handled you have to be that professional to help them understand that many people end up in the same place. What you see, what you've been pinning on Pinterest all these things, sometimes it's not what you end up in. It's what you feel.Which goes back to my whole thing about it's a feeling you get. And sometimes you can't really explain it but you know it's the one. I know it sounds like one of those fairytale type thing but it is something that happens.  I don't think you neccessily cry. People say if I don't cry, it's not the dress. No that is not true.  I can probably count on my hand the number of people that really cry "this is my dress". Most people kind of relax into it. That's what I say. I see it. I feel them kind of exhale, like, yeah, this is the one. And maybe tears would come later, but not at that moment, right.

Maya Holihan

• 14:28

I do think it's different for every single woman. And the other thing is we put so many expectations on ourselves to certain way to have this exact experience that we've dreamt about our entire lives. And I remember working with brides, I worked with brides for 17 years, right. And I can tell you how many brides would come in that I work and say, I want you to know right now I can't make a decision to save my life. so this is going to be a really long journey for me.  And I would say, okay, I am here for you. I am going to be on that journey with you.   And I would say eight times out of ten, that girl would put on the first dress and be like, this is the one. I can't believe it. We surprise ourselves on a regular and then the woman that can usually make a very easy decision is like just killing herself over the fact that she's between four gowns and she can't narrow it down to the one. So you just don't know what you will end up experiencing. And I think that's part of the beauty of it, right, is just let yourself feel what you need to feel and ultimately you'll find that gown.

Miriam Liggett

• 15:34

Right. I think that and I know that when you were fortunate enough to have that bride who said, oh, I can't make a decision, and then the first dress you put on her was the one, it's because you listen to her. And I think the best consultant really listen.  Right. But the problem sometimes is that you'll put that perfect dress on and they can't believe it, and so they start to doubt it and they want to keep trying on dresses. Right. and you feel it, when you know this is the one, it doesn't matter whether it was the first dress or the 50th dress, stop shopping. It's time to make a decision.

Maya Holihan

• 16:11

Yes, absolutely. I think that is a golden bucket of wisdom right there. When you have found that dress that gives you that feeling, put the blinders on laides. Stop shopping.  Because you are just going to confuse yourself right?

Miriam Liggett

• 16:28

Exactly. And I had one bride and she wins the award. She called ahead and she said here is what I am looking for. And I said, well, I only have one style like that. She said, okay, I'll try it. We put the dress on her, she looks at herself, she says, okay, and I said, okay. And she goes, okay. I said okay. What? This is it. Fastest appointment I've ever had. It was literally five minutes. And she said, why would I go look? It's beautiful. It's exactly what I asked you for. And I'm happy.

 Miriam Liggett

• 16:59

I want to get married, so I want this part to be over. I thought, wow, what an amazing bride, and she was beautiful. I mean, just a gorgeous bride. So I think that we don't want to make this too difficult. We do enjoy the journey with our brides when they're really trying to make a decision, but we certainly hate I hate to see a bride who's really in angst over that decision. It really saddens me.

Maya Holihan

• 17:25

Yeah, it is. Because you want this to be such a joyous occasion for them. You're doing what you can to make it easy for them, and it's just I used to say, it's just as heartbreaking for me that you can't make a decision as it is for you to make a decision. So what else can we do to help you get to that point? And I think oftentimes it's patience, and sometimes it's stepping away from it for a little while. You can just spend days and weeks and months trying on gowns, bringing all these different people and bringing all these different opinions. Sometimes you just need to step away from it and let it marinate.

Miriam Liggett

• 18:10

It's true. I had one bride that went to 22 stores. She came to me first. I thought she had found her dress months ago and got married. But it was 8 months later I got a call from her, and she said, Miriam, I would like to come back and purchase the dress that you first put me in. And I said, oh my, your wedding is in four months I thought you had already found a dress. She said no, I've been to 22 stores and I just keep thinking about the first one. And I thought wow. And then we had to rush it and she had to pay exorbitant rush fees, the things that she wanted to do a very customized dress, and we could have had that settled eight months earlier. So I see those kinds of thing happen all the time. And a lot of time they are driven by forces we don't even see or understand. Again, having to play that role of therapist, we're not always sure what's driving the behavior, but we certainly do our best to help.

Maya Holihan

• 19:13

You hit on a very important point that I would like to address a little bit and that is timeframe for ordering.  What happens when you let time go by too quickly. Now I know sometimes people plan weddings very quickly for many reasons. And if you are getting married in two/three months, that's lovely.  But it does make shopping for wedding gowns a little more challenging.  Can you tell us why that is?

Miriam Liggett

• 19:40

I think that what people need to understand is, one that dresses are being made for women all over the world by some of the same designers. So first and foremost, you have to get into the production cycle of having your wedding gown made, laces have to be ordered, labor has to be arranged. All these things go into it and particularly from my standpoint of my boutique, everything is manufactured here in the United states.  So you know they're like women that are actually working on their dresses actually putting the laces on, not being made in factories so all of this takes time to put together laces can be discontinued or have to be remade. I think people don't realize the kind of complexity of what goes into a wedding gown as many times as we talk about it, as many magazines that say please order 7 to 9 months out. People really believe they can get things fast and I think that's the nature of today's world where we can get on the Internet or something and it shows up the next day including some wedding gowns unfortunately. But these gowns are not always the ones that are you know well constructed or with the best laces and so you know we're really providing people with something of heirloom quality and something that's going to withstand the entire wedding day and look good from the first picture to the final picture. I think that realizing that the best wedding gowns are the ones that are best constructed.

Maya Holihan

• 21:11

Miriam Liggett

• 21:48

I can't tell you how many brides I've saved that did that. Ordered the dress from the Internet and then came running to me saying oh and look what I got. Can you believe it? It's too short or it's three sizes too small or you know all of these things. And can you now help me I will get a dress from you.

Maya Holihan

• 22:08

So they now you have the money on the one that they thought they were going to save all this money on, and then they had to go buy another one and get the alterations done, right? I oftentimes in a situation where they ordered the dress on the Internet, it didn't come in looking anything like the one that they had tried in my store, and then when they knew that they had to buy the one from the store because it's really what they wanted. We had to rush it. We had to pay rush fee we had to pay rushed alterations, that woman's in a panic now all the way up until she walks down the aisle. So I mean ladies don't do that to yourself.  Please hope to be there to save you but you shouldn't put yourself in that position if you can.  Avoided at all costs.

Miriam Liggett

• 22:56

Yeah I  just think that you know really if brides can understand that dresses cost a lot because of the fabric quality.  The amount of time it takes to actually make that dress, how it's cut, a bias cut dress gives a dress more like flow and getting elasticity but it's gonna take a little bit more fabric. The difficulty of working with the fabric.  All these things go into why their dress may cost what it costs and I think when people appreciate that then they understand how special this garment is. 

Maya Holihan

• 23:31

That's right. Do you find that there's a lot of education that goes into the sales process for wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses and mother's dresses? Do you feel like the consumer just isn't schooled on why things cost the way they cost and why time frames are the way that they are and that we are more educators than we actually are stylists and sales people?

Miriam Liggett

• 23:58

Yeah, absolutely. I can't tell you how many times a mother might say, help me understand why this dress costs more than a dress at another store. That might be cheaper. And you do have to explain that it doesn't mean you'll have a convert. Some people are just more budget brides. And I don't really like that term, but they kind of call themselves that. I want to do this on a very shoestring budget. But then there are brides who understand that the dress is a very important part of it. I want the fabrics to be of the highest quality because I know what that means. I mean, we do our best to educate because I think it is important for people to understand, no matter what decision they ultimately make, it's really important to understand the why.

Maya Holihan

• 24:46

Absolutely. And I think it's also respecting where people want to put their money. Right? Because the other thing is, just because a woman doesn't want to spend thousands of dollars on her wedding gown doesn't mean she doesn't have a huge budget for her wedding. The gown may not be important to her. It may not be the element that she really wants to put all of her money into. Maybe she wants to put the money into the experience she's providing her guests at the reception or during the ceremony or you know what? Maybe they want to put that money into their honeymoon or into a down payment on their house. It just depends on what you deem as important. So I always felt like it didn't matter how much money you were spending in my store, you were getting the same exact experience. We were going to usher you through that journey of finding the perfect gown, no matter how many dollars and cents are behind it. 

Miriam Liggett

• 25:36

Absolutely. I always tell my staff, respect the budget, understand it and respect it. If they choose to go higher, then that's certainly their decision. But, you know, first and foremost, show them those dresses are within the price point that they prefer.

Maya Holihan

• 25:52

Absolutely. I think that's so key. I think we hear numbers. Right? Some of us, we just hear the number and we make all these assumptions and you got to think broader because there's so many things that a couple has to spend money on. And sometimes we're so focused on our part of it, we forget that there are other elements and other things that are important to them. So I think eyes and ears open and the level of success will not be compromised.

Miriam Liggett

• 26:25

Absolutely . I mean, you're right. It's just getting to know your bride early on, even before they come into the boutique. So you know the type of bride you're dealing with in terms of how she responds to the dress part of this, what's really important to her.

Maya Holihan

• 26:41

And that's, I think, another key to making an appointment. You just hit on something really important is that when you, as a bride, make an appointment to shop at a store, it gives the store an opportunity to start the conversation and the relationship with you before you even walk through the door. Right?

Miriam Liggett

• 27:01

Yeah. You should want that boutique to be asking you questions, either asking you to fill something out or, you know, take your phone call if they call. Because I think that what we're trying to do as bridal consultants is to really understand what you want before you get there. We know your time is valuable. My brides are so busy. Some of them have such I mean, I'm in the Washington DC area. I've had brides who were assistants to the Vice president. They're in Secret Service, those kind of things. These are very busy people and I want to make the best use of my time.

Miriam Liggett

• 27:35

So if they call for an appointment, I'm going to not just take the information of when do you want to come and what time, but tell me what you're thinking about, tell me about your wedding, what are you looking for? Have you shopped before? These are very important questions to know what stage of the process that bride is in. If she's never shopped before, then this is a very different appointment. She's really just trying to understand what looks good on her. Sometimes they're ready at that point, but sometimes you're just there for first stop. But if they have had experience, we can really get to work. And I say it just like that. While you've had experience, why don't we get right to work? What haven't you liked or what do you like now that you know? And let's see why you haven't purchased yet. And then you pull those dresses so that we can really start to make some decisions and really pick a dress that speaks to her. 

Maya Holihan

• 28:24

Yeah. The key is. Progress. Forward Progress.

Miriam Liggett

• 28:27

 Yes. Moving forward.

Maya Holihan

• 28:34

Let's switch gears a little bit. Let's talk about trends. So what is trending in bridal fashion, both for the bride, but also for the groom or anyone that's wearing a suit or bridesmaid's dresses? What are we seeing for 2020?

Miriam Liggett

• 28:50

So, for 2020, I think we're seeing a little bit of what we saw in 2019 that despite the fact that people said they didn't like Meghan Markle's dress, we're seeing a lot of people asking for clean, crisp styles with dramatic trains. And I find that funny because really, there was just a lot of controversy when Meghan during Meghan 's wedding, I remember that day, were very excited, and people were like, oh, I didn't like her dress. And I was thinking, I loved her dress. Right? I think I was in the minority. But then again, we always are inspired by celebrities, even if we don't even realize it. Like it's subliminal. But we know that there's something about that clean and classic look that people love. What I'm excited about is we're seeing a return to more ballgowns and more formal weddings, because for a while, were seeing kind of very boho, which is still very much in style, though, and very slinky, sexy dresses. And so what I'm seeing now is people are more gravitating toward the ball gown and sleeves. And, I mean, very few people are asking for strap lift gowns anymore. So the trends are definitely kind of getting to a place where we're being a little bit more traditional in our approach with boho still out there, because vineyard weddings, particularly in the Washington, DC a. Area, very popular. 

 Maya Holihan

• 30:15

Yes. And what about let's talk about the veils. Our brides going back, there was a time where it was like if you wore a veil, it was like you're wearing a veil. But to me, you're not a bride until you put a veil on. It's just my opinion.

Miriam Liggett

• 30:32

Maya Holihan

• 31:03

History repeats itself in fashion. And it certainly extends to weddings as well. And I know that you offer in house alterations as well for your brides, correct?

Miriam Liggett

• 31:15

Yes, we do.

Maya Holihan

• 31:16

Your seamstresses ever rework a mother's dress so that her daughter can wear it or take elements? Is there any sort of reconstruction or upcycling that goes on with an heirloom piece?

Miriam Liggett

• 31:30

I used to see more of that about three to four years ago. I haven't seen that as much lately. But we do offer that service. It is so special to us. I don't think people realize that even if we're not selling them a dress that we get to enjoy that process with them as well it's see them take something that is so treasured by their mom. Cause I'm telling you, I can literally see hearts in the mother's eyes when a bride decides to make that happen. She's so touched by this and she doesn't care how we cut that dress up so long as there's some piece of it used for her daughter. And so we love seeing that because we know that's just love being transferred from one generation to the next and it's really a beautiful thing. So I think some mom's dresses are so traditional that lately brides have just kind of said we'll keep it in the box and we'll admire it from afar. But I did see it happening more so three to four years ago and I'm sure it's something that will come back, right? 

Maya Holihan

• 32:29

Absolutely. Yeah, we had fun with that. And I share in the book about a story about a bride who actually bought a new wedding gown from us. It was one of the newest collections and her mother and her grandmother really wanted to incorporate their dresses somehow into her wedding day. And so my seamstress again, just like what you said, they didn't care how she sliced and diced up this gorgeous lace and satin, right? Oh my gosh, we're going to cut into that fabric. Are you kidding me? But we made the most darling reception dress for her out of her grandmother and her mother's wedding gown.

Miriam Liggett

• 33:10

 Oh, that's lovely.

Maya Holihan

• 33:13

There's ways to again incorporate that tradition and that history without actually having to wear your mother and grandma's down the aisle.

Miriam Liggett

• 33:24

Absolutely.

Maya Holihan

• 33:25

It's fun when you get to create and when you get to think outside of the box. And I would say that's another reason to start early and to leave yourself time because it gives us time to be able to create more with you. Wouldn't you say so?

Miriam Liggett

• 33:42

Yes, absolutely. I realized that again, you mentioned this earlier that people are having shorter engagement times for the most part, but if you know you're going to be doing something like that, give us the time so we're not rushing that process. I mean, it's a special process too. You want to invite your mother and possibly your grandmother to come to your fittings, so you have to have time to plan that out and get everyone scheduled together. So I do think it's important to remember that getting your gown is one of the first things you should do beyond your venue. I know that's changed a little bit because people get their venues first now because the venues are so hard to come by. But the next thing you should do is get your dress so that you have the time to enjoy that process.

Maya Holihan

• 34:27

That's right. Perfect advice. So what do you think is the biggest misperception brides have about wedding gown shopping? Is there a theme that reoccurs over and over again that you're like, I wish that these women would get it.

Miriam Liggett

• 34:47

I would say first and foremost the thing that comes to mind is respect for us as professionals. Our time and the talent that we bring to this, it's just not like regular shopping. And where you should really be motivated is by a person who knows her stuff, who really understands what type of garments to select for your body type. And for the time that we put into working with each bride, a lot of stores have started charging for their appointments or at least charging a cancellation fee if the bride doesn't show up. And I think that has really come because people will make an appointment because they have appointments at a variety of places. They might get tired or they might find their gown and they don't call to tell you they're not coming. So the industry as a whole deals with no shows.

Miriam Liggett

• 35:32

And in response to that, people have started to charge because we are professionals, we work very hard, we care very deeply about our clients and we really want to make sure that we give you the time and the experience that you deserve when you're shopping for your gown. I think some people just believe, oh, they're just like any other store. We just walk in. If we don't want something, we just leave. But we're here to really facilitate a great shopping experience and to help you make the decision that makes you look your absolute best.

Maya Holihan

• 36:53

I'm going to say 90% of wedding professionals are so invested in your day with you that it crushes them when anything goes wrong. But it's an opportunity right, to make it right. And you've got to give your wedding pros the respect and the time and the attention that they deserve because they are working behind the scenes for you so much you can't even see it. And I feel like for bridal retailers that I used to dream about my clients. I used to be like, I want to choose these dresses tomorrow. Okay? I could not sleep until I knew something was happening. And I think that as consumers in general, but particularly when it comes to weddings, we lose sight of that a little bit. So I'm really glad that you touched on that. We're here for you.

Maya Holihan

• 37:45

Miriam Liggett

• 37:55

Absolutely. I mean, I worked with a client last week who literally came to me crying about the fact that her previous dress, she's already married. Really? And she purchased a dress, and it was a dress that she did not like that she felt like her mother forced her into buying. She literally cried with me and said, here's what I want. I show her that exact look. And then I never heard from her for three days. And I don't think people realize that we get a little hurt by that, because we kind of give our heart and soul to our clients, and they don't realize that we're thinking about her. You're like, I'm thinking, is she okay? What did she decide? Is she going to move forward? I think that people have the misconception that all we care about is sales.

 Miriam Liggett

• 38:43

We really end up caring about the individual and almost to our detriment sometimes.

 Maya Holihan

• 38:52

Yes, absolutely. I think that's a common theme. I think it takes a very special person to be in the wedding industry. And for certainly you've been doing it for many years, and a lot of the people that are extraordinary at their craft in the wedding industry have been doing it for years, and that is because they have chosen to give so much of themselves over to their clients, and that it is a choice. 

 Miriam Liggett

• 39:17

It is a choice. Yeah.

Maya Holihan

• 39:19

Because we understand the magnitude of what you're getting ready to plan. I want to hit a little bit on the type of store that you are, because anyone that's shopping every store is different. Every store has a different feel, a different vibe, a different personality. You are a Barbara Kavchok flagship store. What does that mean?

Miriam Liggett

• 39:31

Okay, well, this is exciting to me, because I do feel it's a blessing. I just did a post about this last week, but I have been working with Eugenia Couture, which was Barbara Kavchok before it was her mother's business, and I have been working with them for eight years, and they approached me about two years ago and said, you know, we've been wanting to try this flagship concept, and we just really think you get us. And your brides love us, obviously, because of the sales, and we would love to try that with you. And for me, it was a no brainer, because it gave me an opportunity to work with one designer. When you're a bridal store and you're working with ten to 14 different designers, it is like managing chaos and really trying. It is.

Miriam Liggett

• 40:36

And it's like you're trying to keep up with what changes they will do. One designer will do sleeve, the other one won't. And you're having to train your staff in all of this. When we decided to do this, I realized that it would simplify my process of working with individual brides. And Barbara is so uber talented and so flexible in terms of what she's able to customize that I feel now I have an opportunity more than ever to service every bride. You know, I can service a bride who prefers that fitted look, but a very sexy type of bodice, but she might want a big ballgown bottom. And sometimes they would go from store to store and they would say to me, I found the top I liked at one store and the bottom I liked at another store.

Miriam Liggett

• 41:20

And we happily can provide that for brides now. And I experienced that yesterday with the bride when one of my consultants who had not seen a dress, she was in a fitting and the bride said, I designed it and I thought it was so cute because she was so proud of the fact that she was able to visualize different fabric with this top and a different strap and all this. And it came out just the way she thought. Now for those who aren't able to visualize, that's what we're there for is to really support them through that process. Barbara will also provide sketches for the brides so they can see what they're asking us for and feel comfortable with those changes. But being a flagship really allows me flexibility and the ability to respond to brides who have a different voice.

Miriam Liggett

• 42:05

I recently just did a dress with blue ombre underneath. So things like that you really can't get in some of the traditional boutiques, we can do. And that's what makes being a flagship so special.

Maya Holihan

• 42:19

That's what makes you and makes you so unique. It sounds like there's lots of customizations, it sounds like it can be very personal for the bride. And just you're getting into more of the details, into the intricacies that you're probably not going to get, like you said, at another type of retailer. And I think that speaks to, again, value the price point that you offer, why you have appointments, because when you're providing sketches to somebody and you're actually sitting there designing the top and the bottom with them, that takes undivided attention.

Miriam Liggett

• 42:58

It really does. And I think that our bride, it's very clear to me who our bride is because they really do respect and appreciate the time that goes into that. And they also have bragging rights. I hear them saying, I told my friend that I did this here and that they should come here. And I think that's great. I want them to feel proud that they made the decision to purchase their gown with us. I think every bridal store owner wants that. But the alterations process, I find it very unique. We really do get some amazing outcomes. And brides feel like they were really intimately involved in the process of their gown.

Maya Holihan

• 43:38

Yeah, I think that's so amazing. If I can do it again, I would come shop with you.

Miriam Liggett

• 43:44

Thank you. Maya.

Maya Holihan

• 43:48

I want to talk a little bit about alterations because again, the podcast in the book are all about altered. Originally the title came to me because specifically of the alterations process. But then as I was thinking about it a little bit more deeply and thinking about the podcast, I was like, well, really, when you get engaged, your whole life is altered. Like, it'll never be the same. Every element of your life changes. But the alterations process, I find it very unique. I think it can be a little bit scary for the consumer. I think it's a part of the process that they probably know the least about. What advice can you give to our listeners and anyone getting ready to either get engaged or get married about preparing adequately for the alterations process and what does that look like for them?

Miriam Liggett

• 44:39

Right. I don't think there has been a bride that doesn't work to walk into that first fitting with some fear. They look nervous, they look scared, and it's all about, is this dress going to fit? I've waited now however many months for it to come in and I'm very concerned. I think that first I've got to talk the alterations process used to be that way for me too. I think because when you are buying a dress typically, you are ordering from a size chart and if your hips are larger than your bust area, then you're kind of you have to order for the largest part of your body.  And so therefore when the dress comes in you have to alter it. Being a flagship and I have to make a plug for myself here. I have less stress with alterations. I mean, I have no stress, actually, because we order by the person's measurements.

Miriam Liggett

• 45:38

So therefore the dress comes in fitting pretty well, and we just have to tweak if the bride has lost weight or if there's been any changes in their body since the first time they came in. Allow for that kind of normal fluctuations. I think the alterations process is just nerve wracking. And I think the best thing to do is to understand and go to a professional, understand that there are professionals that can help you and you have to trust them. You have to be clear when you communicate what you don't like, it's really not helpful to stand in front of a mirror and just kind of frown or say, this is not what I thought, this is not what I expected, because it kind of puts everyone on edge, I think.

Miriam Liggett

• 46:19

Be professional, tell them what is not working, what you need to see change and allow that professional to work with you on it. I think it's good to ask questions when you're buying too. Someone says, oh, I can do sleeves, then say, what would those leaves look like? So that there's no misunderstanding when the dress comes in and they put a sleeve on there and you're like, that's not what I was thinking. Bring pictures. Show us what you're saying. I will tell a person immediately if something is not possible. It's like, it doesn't work for the functionality of your dress or, you know, I don't think that's going to look the best. And here's why. I think asking questions is key to really getting the outcome that you want.

Maya Holihan

• 47:05

I agree. And I think using your voice really particularly in the alterations process, with respect, let's not shout and scream at people, but with respect. Because if you don't clearly communicate what it is you don't like, then it doesn't give us an opportunity to fix it. It doesn't.

Miriam Liggett

• 47:24

Okay.

Maya Holihan

• 47:25

And when I had my stores, it was always very frustrating when the seamstress would come back and I'd say, how did the alterations go? And she's great. It was lovely. It was wonderful. And then two minutes later, I have mom on the phone going, my daughter's in tears. She gets regrets. And I'm like, Why? Okay. She left happy, right? The thing is, if she had expressed it truly how she felt while she was on that pedestal with my seamstress, then I could have come out, or a manager could have come out, or the stylist that actually sold her the gown and the one that really had the relationship with her could have come out and we could have walked through what the issues were. Right?

Maya Holihan

• 47:59

So I feel like sometimes there's an additional step of angst and stress and heartache that doesn't need to happen if you just ask and if the seamstress is not listening or there's a misperception because sometimes they're listening, but you're thinking one thing and they're thinking another. Ask for a manager. You're an owner operator. You're on hand, you're on deck. You're there all the time. I was an owner operator. So speak up, women, and ask for the owner. Ask for the manager. Ask for somebody who can come in and advocate for you before you leave in tears. Because we don't want that happening.

Miriam Liggett

• 48:36

Right? And like you, I learned the hard way. So now either I'm standing there or one of my staff members stands with that bride, and I don't let them leave without asking, is there anything else you want to share with me before you go? Because I don't like getting phone calls, you know, 3 hours later where someone or a long, very long email saying, here's what's wrong with my dress, I would rather know at that moment so that we can address it with the seamstress. Since we've started doing that, I really have eliminated a lot of that. But you're still going to have people who are just afraid to speak up. And I realize that. For any boutique owner is you know give them the opportunity to talk to you and brides don't be afraid to speak with with respect you know and be professional and you know I know it's an emotional time but people are people.So if you're screaming at someone, they're probably not going to react the way you want them to. A friend taught me that a long time ago. You really want to get to the best possible outcome and we can do that if we're all kind of calm and rational.

Maya Holihan

• 49:40

What if they say, you get more bees with honey? Right?

Miriam Liggett

• 49:43

Yeah, that's so true.

Maya Holihan

• 49:46

The nicer, the kinder you are the more we can help you, right?

Miriam Liggett

• 49:49

Absolutely. We'll bend over backwards.

Maya Holihan

• 49:52

Right exactly. I remember a conversation you and I had recently where you're like, the more you are respectful and communicative, the more we can be great for you. Allow us to be great for you.

Miriam Liggett

• 50:04

Allow us to be great. A friend taught me that a long time ago.

Maya Holihan

• 50:10

I didn't forget that.  I absolutely love it. So I'm going to wrap up here. I can talk to you all day long and certainly you will come back. And Miriam is also a board member one of my other businesses and she's just an extraordinary human being and I am going to plug her for a moment. So if you are, I really believe that when you choose your wedding professionals, you should choose people that align with your values and your integrity and your character. And when I lost my business in 2017. I received a very beautiful letter in the mail from a bridal retailer and that bridal retailer was Miriam that was filled with love and hope and support and care and passages from the Bible and just God's grace. Kind of beaming through the letter and that stuck with me and will stick with me for the rest of my life. So you are dear friends, you are a wonderful human being.And  And so for any woman, bride, bridesmaid, mother who's looking to get dressed and look amazing and feel even more amazing for a wedding and you are in the Northern Virginia or DC area or can get there, please look up Miriam and her boutique because she's awesome and Ilove you to pieces. 

Miriam Liggett

• 51:40

I love you too. Thank you.

Maya Holihan

• 51:43

You came on this journey, this new journey with me.

 Miriam Liggett

• 51:47

My pleasure. My pleasure and my honor. Thank you. 

Maya Holihan

• 51:50

And we'll, of course, put all of your social media details and your website on ours so people can reach out to you. But what is your website in case people want to go right now and look you up?

Miriam Liggett

• 52:03

That's wonderful. It is soliloquybridal.com. Soliloquybridal.com. And soliloquy is a dramatic statement of unspoken expression.

Maya Holihan

• 52:16

I love it. Well, thank you so much, Miriam. It was a pleasure having you and thank you guys for listening. Until next time, take care.

• 52:24

You've been listening to Happily Altered After unique perspectives on the road to wedded bliss with your host, Maya Holihan.